Keeping Love Alive

Marriage and relationships can have its ups and downs, it is normal for couples to disagree and pass through moments of difficulty, but it is important to learn how to navigate through these moments, so you and your partner can have a successful marriage. Generally, couples tend to lack the skills to make their partner feel safe, understood, and stimulated, but separation or divorce does not need to be the answer for your marital problems if that isn’t what you seek. These issues are often just signals that it is time to build new communication skills – by putting work into these skills even the most difficult relationships can learn how to have a great marriage.

Common Problems in Relationships:

  • Arguing and conflict - It is extremely normal for couples to go through periods of conflict, but the key is to learn how to navigate it. Couples can learn how to relax their partner and regulate conflict, even when it threatens to get out of hand. Many couples who fight often grow to have successful marriages.
  • Avoidance - Avoidance can occur in couples when someone feels threatened, afraid, angry, or confused about the relationship. Therapists can help work through these emotions to build a path towards reality and intimacy.
  • Lack of passion or sex - A lack of passion or a sex life that isn’t mutually satisfying can point towards other underlying intimacy or relationship issues. On the other hand, many couples can have a great partnership, but are not sure how to turn up the passion for great sex.
  • Poor communication – Various problems can arise from all sorts of ends: money, values, and much more. Partners can learn how to move past criticism, contempt, resentment, or the silent treatment to get more of what they want or need from their partners.

A daily supply of admiration, love, and affection can be apart of the formula for a successful marriage. Happy couples do not overwhelm each other, even during fights. These couples also have the appropriate skills to help soothe and calm their significant other when tensions are high, and when to excite their partners to keep passion and love alive.

Additionally, it is important to create safety and closeness with a partner by showing respect and consideration for that person. Successful couples see their partner as their main support system and look to them for help or advice before reaching out to others. These tips are not only for those relationships or marriages that are suffering, but can also help turn a good partnership into a great one!

Steps You Can Take Now:

  • Seek help early.
  • Be Mindful.
  • Diffuse the disagreement.
  • Find the right therapist.

Most couples live in distress for far too long. Make the decision to find help as a couple and find a therapist that is right for the both of you. When looking for a therapist make sure to shop around, conduct short telephone interviews to find someone you and your partner connect with, ask about their experience, and ask about health insurance. For example, Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs) are relationship experts. They work with individuals, couples, families and more to provide support for life’s challenges. Licensed MFTs are psychotherapists who are uniquely trained to treat a wide range of issues, like couples and relationships, so individuals can achieve a better quality of life.

Remember, your relationship is about love and respect and reaching out for help should not be looked at negatively. Instead view it as a sign of strength and commitment to your relationship and your partner. It takes energy, a positive attitude, tolerance, and persistence to maintain healthy, happy relationships. But the rewards are worth it. Couples therapy can help you build the kind of life you want together.

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Featured Therapist 

Dr. David L. De Lange, PhD

Dr. David L. De Lange, PhD

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Marina Del Rey, CA 90292

Suffering from stress, depression, anxiety? Feeling overwhelmed? Having serious relationship problems? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, I would like to help you. Some clients need help discovering hidden possibilities within themselves and their relationships.


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